30 September 2008

Tuesday Has Arrived!

Not that there is anything special about this Tuesday... but here it is, come what may!
I slept for half of Tuesday already. To bed and asleep by 10:30 last night and didn't get up till noon today. It is one of three things causing all that sleep: 1.) I'm just a lazy bastard and like to sleep. 2.) My hemocrit numbers are way the hell up there in the 50s and my old body says, "Let's just sleep so we don't have to deal with this feeling of lethargy." or 3.) The drugs are taking their toll. I've analyzed all three of those scenarios and only two of them make total sense. I really am lazy some days, but not this lazy that I must sleep for fourteen hours straight! The hemocrit numbers might be high. I don't know this for certain cause I haven't heard back from the doc about what the blood tests had to say about that. And the drugs have been in my system for months and didn't have this effect on me. (Drugs beings those prescribed by the doctor). I really don't know what is up on that front to be honest with you. All I know is I feel like crap! Have no energy, the headaches are much more noticable than they have been in a long time, and all I want to do is sleep. Doc Genny says it is the fibro doing this number on me. She is right in a sense...but it's also the polycythemia vera as well. The hemocrit numbers get high and my blood is too thick which affects the fibro and makes it worse. I can't win for losing with those two diseases on board. Then throw in the diabetes as well and we have ourselves a party that we don't really want to attend but we have no choice but to attend cause it's happening right in our own yard. My blood sugars are out of whack big time. Don't know what is up with that either! They went down to 77 yesterday. I was shaking like a leaf in a tornado. That had never happend before. I ate a peanutbutter sandwich and drank a glass of milk and I was fine. Then when I got up today I made some coffee, had one cup and remembered I hadn't taken my BSs. That cup of coffee had some non-fat creamer in it. One cup, that's all I had before I got out the meter. Blood Sugars were at 250. They are seldom that high. Seldom over 140.
I want a new body. This one is broken! I can wish, can't I? Enough about that! I'm tired of thinking about it!

Ma brought me a cool bug this morning while I was still asleep. He's a praying mantis. She thought he was pretty cool cause he's not green like she thinks they should be. He's a mottled brown color to blend in with the tree bark he usually lives on. I'm not sure just where she caught this fella .... somewhere in her yard. She put his hide in the freezer. She also brought me a new shelf for my bedroom while I was sleeping. I saw her over there putting that shelf on top of my dresser though. I said to the cat, "Oh, it's Ma making all that racket!" Ma didn't hear me say that apparently cause she went right on arranging that shelf on top the dresser. I went back to sleep. Doob (cat) did the same.
And now it's a little after 2 in the afternoon. I've accomplished nothing but drink two cups of coffee and am half way through the third cup. I've done one ATC this morning for the challenge over at AFA for the zentangle group. I picked up the mess one of those critters made in my deskroom last night. I'm thinking it was Billy cause he was nosing around in the closet earlier. There were ATCs blanks all over the floor cause somebody was up on top of the PC tower during the night and they knocked all that stuff on the floor. There was more than just ATC blanks on the floor! Much more!
I have a bunch of ATCs to scan today sometime. I ain't in a big hurry to do that!
I'm going to start on my Christmas Chunky Pages today. Get everything in one spot, cut the blanks, etc.
The girls and I didn't do any cards last night. I forgot to take the stuff with me and they had gone to the football game anyway and that didn't leave us much time for anything too creative. I'll take the kits with me next Monday and we shall see what we can come up with. I'd like for them to make me a page or two for my Halloween Chunky Book. That would be really cool to have their pages in with the other pages I'll be getting back from the swap. My sister Susan is going to make me a Halloween page for the book also.
No pictures today and no poetry either. I just don't feel up to it. So, I guess what you've gotten is a lot of whining and not much more. I'll try to keep that whining to a minimum cause it really does no good at all for the situation!
I'm off to the post office and the grocery store. Have envies that need mailed and I need some food for the cupboards!
You all have a terrific Tuesday. I'll make the best of mine!

28 September 2008

It's a slow, slow Sunday

This ATC here at the front of this post is called 'At The Window'. I did it for the September Challenge over at ATCsforall.com. I'm pretty sure it hasn't a chinaman's chance of winning but that's perfectly OK with me cause it ain't by any means the cream of the crop of entries into that challenge. Go on over to ATCsforall.com and check it out. There's a link to the site in the sidebar over there <. You will be treated to some awesome art by some awesome artists! I promise!
I've been working on two little books today. One of them is done and the other is yet to be put together but its artwork is done. I was going to put those two little books in my MIB but they won't fit! Change of plan, I guess! :) No biggie though. It was not time wasted. I'm now two books closer to my goal for Christmas presents.
The MIBs went together quite nicely. I hope the recipients like all the goodies found in the two bottles that are ready for the post office tomorrow. I had fun putting them together.
I am waiting on two ATCs to dry so I can seal them, then scan them after they dry again. That makes four ATCs done in the last two days. I'll show them to you another time.
I'm gathering things for the Christmas Chunky Pages Swap I am in. Once I get started on them, they will go quickly! I'm thinking I might make many more pages for that swap than is actually needed and make a Christmas Chunky Book for my sister Elaine for Christmas. That's right up her alley!
I had to take a break about two hours ago cause I was shaking like a leaf! I checked my blood sugars and they were way low...that's never happened before. It was a bit scary! Susan helped me out on what to do about that though and now I'm good as new and the BSs are up in the normal range again. Who would have thunk a peanutbutter sandwich could work miracles?
Here in a bit I'm putting together a 'kit' of sorts to take to town tomorrow night so my little girl friends and I can do some collaging while their mom and dad are off bowling. Allison said she thought she would like that. I'm thinking Halloween dodads and such. Beings it's already pretty much all in the same spot already.
I'll share a poem with you today since I've not done that recently. All this poetry you're reading is old stuff I've written cause the poetry muse ain't been showing her pretty head for months now! Do enjoy!
Love is foolish... Therefore let me be a blooming idiot!
Love, indeed is a foolish thing.
Offering colors in return for grays.
Vanity comes in many fashions.
Everyone knows that.
I like to think of love as an inanimate object we
somehow magically bring to life.
Fools indeed have better sense.
Only because they know how to live.
Only because they dare to live!
Love, it is indeed a foolish thing,
I hope to have it always.
Sadness would prevail if not.
Hands need hands for holding.
Taking love for love's own sake
hinders the way a person usually thinks.
Eternity is for as long as it lasts.
Remember that when loves come passed.
Everyone craves the feeling to be.
Foolish ones find it feels grand.
Only those who have held it can truly understand.
Read what it says in the eyes you look into,
each word written is for you.
Living one's life from day to day without
everything one needs to smile, puts burdens on a heart
tingling with love.
Maybe I'm a coward cause I don't love like this.
Everyone finds what it is they need.
Battering the heart because the ship's caught in a net
ends with a heart bruised.
After you have known love, only love will do.
Behind masks we're forced to wear
lives the soul of a love gone to sleep.
Open the door, let the sun shine in.
Open the lips, beam once again.
Meet me at the diner for a burger and fries
I need to see your eyes smile.
Now that you know love is in the air,
Go for it! It might not come again.
I have let that fleeting dove fly away,
damning myself later on the way.
I had it all and it went to another.
Over the hills I wander,
trudging idiots discover love.

I'm not sure when I wrote this one. 2003 perhaps? Been a few years back though.
I'll come yak at you all another day, share a few pictures, maybe some more poetry and a bit of chatter for sure. You all have a beautiful day!

24 September 2008

Message In A Bottle

Today is shaping up to be a stellar day! I got home from a roadtrip about 9:30 this morning. Checked the mail to find swap returns and a message in a bottle along with a gemstone catalog and a pc of junk mail. (How'd I get so lucky not to get a bill?) As I was headed back to the house from the mailbox, both of my sons showed up. Nothing like getting hugs first thing in the morning!

I knew the Asian Inchies were due to arrive any day. I haven't yet opened that envelope but will do so shortly.

The Message In A Bottle was a total surprise! I knew one would show up some day, but I wasn't expecting it today! What fun! It came from a girl in Wichita, KS. In it were the items shown in the two pictures above! What fun, indeed! You all can see what is there, no need to tell you everything the bottle contained. I will tell you though that in the pic on the right above, that is a 4 x 4 page without any danglies. I love it! There's also a paper napkin and a pc of patterned paper. I absolutely love the mulberry paper! (It's in the first picture.) That is some really cool stuff!
My plan for this bottle of goodness is to use all the bits and pcs in my artwork, possibly to use ONLY what was recieved in the bottle on at least one ATC. We will see what happens there though. Plans don't always go accordingly.
Now I'm to send two bottles out to two of the folks I have addresses for. Guess I'll be making two little blank books to put into those bottles along with a lot of other goodies.
Up on the left side bar you'll see a link called Go Make Something. Go check it out! That is where you'll find out how to get your own message in a bottle!
And to think this won't be the ONLY bottle I'll get in the mail! This is just too exciting!

The dog was missing when I came home this morning. He apparently just wasn't paying attention and didn't see or hear me come pulling into the drive. He was next door guarding the neighbor's house. I hollered out the backdoor for him and he came barrelling across the field that separates my house from my sister's house. Yep, sis is the neighbor! He ran right by the back door and clunked his way in through the front door! Now that dog won't let me out of his sight!

The boys are out back sorting junk to take to the scrap yard later today. RW wants something to eat so as soon as I'm done here, I'll go cook something. Can't let the boy go hungry! I'm sure RJ would eat something too if I fixed it.

Ma called a few minutes ago and looks like I will be going out to lunch with her, Linda and Susan. I probably ought to change my clothes for that. I'll go to the library later in Plainville when I get done with my ass chewing from the doctor over there. I blew off the last two appointments I had with her and she's none too happy with me about it. Can't say I blame her for that though. She's trying to keep me healthy and I really ain't helping the situation by blowing off the appointments. So I'm going to be a good girl today and go see the doc, let the vampires take some blood and hope those hemocrit numbers aren't out of control as badly as I feel they are! Yes, yes, I know that when you know something's out of whack you really should keep your appointments! I'm trying to get it all together again. But right now, I'm going to go cook something for those boys and get on with my day!
You all have a fantastic day! I know mine's gonna turn out well!

23 September 2008

Still September but fall is in the air!

witches front

witches back

scream front

scream back

werewolf front

werewolf back

owl front

owl back

skull front

skull back

moon tree front

moon tree back

pumpkin front

pumpkin back

bat front

bat back

headless horseman front

headless horseman back

And as usual I'm dingy as a bat some days! I forgot how the pictures work! So pay no attention to the commentary saying I will show you these later as you've already seen them. Enjoy!
We will not be adding any ATCs today as I had stated we would cause this post is quite long enough already and I really don't want to bore my potential readers. I've still no clue if I am actually just talking to myself or not! Leave me a comment, please, if you are indeed reading this rambling! Thank you, thank you!

It was raining when I woke up this morning at six. I went outside to make sure my van windows were rolled up. I don't know why I can't remember if I've closed them or not. They were shut up tight and I went back to bed for three hours. Last few times it has rained I've gone out in the dead of night or the early morning hours to check to make sure they were closed and they have been. But I've also learned that when you don't close those windows when the skies open up, you'll have a wet seat to deal with later!

I've accomplished much in the art arena in the last few days. Those Halloween Chunky pages went postal yesterday as well as the Zentangles ATCs and a few single ATCs. I'll show you the Halloween Chunkies later in this post.

Halloween ATCs are on my agenda for today. A trip to the library is also on the agenda. I need to get pictures of those three cats printed. I need to get those three cats painted! I also have a tiger face to paint on an ATC in trade for an elephant ATC.

I finished the book, "Massacre at Fall Creek" this morning. I tried to finish it last night before I fell asleep but 2 a.m. rolled around and my old eyeballs wanted cover so I shut off the light and gave them just that! Took me three days to read it. Written by Jesamyn West. Excellent book if you like historical novels. Which I do. It is a fictionalized story about the first trial of white men accused of murdering Indians. It takes place in the year 1824 in Ohio. I believe this makes book #42 for the year thus far. I'll start another either later today or tomorrow. I've no clue just what book that may be. I've hundreds to choose from in this house.

The smell of newsprint wafted to my nostrils as I made my way across the highway back to the house after retrieving the mail this morning. Tuesdays bring newspapers in the big black box on the other side of Highway 24. I never read those free papers that come. One is a publication advertising things folks have for sale and such. The other is a free version from the Hays Daily that is filled with nothing but advertisements. Both of those lovely publications are not simply thrown away though. Stella and Annie delight in the smell of newsprint when I tear those papers into nice long strips for the rats to burrow through and make a new home in their condo/cage. The mail didn't offer up much this morning...the phone bill (that was a shocker! I thought I paid that thing last month!), an envelope from the Sierra Club that offered up many things to go in the morgue for artwork later on down the line. There were offers for three more magazines, two of them renewals that I will not honor. I get way too many magazines as it is. I added to my sticker stash from today's mail in the form a calendar strip, some happy faces, a YES sticker for one of the magazine subscriptions, and three mailing labels from another offer that came today.

The new Smithsonian Magazine arrived with Stone Henge on the cover. I'll devour it later today. Just last night Susan was telling me about a show she had watched on Stone Henge. I'm anxious to read of the new discoveries they've unearthed there.

There are now five magazines that need a good reading and gone through to collect images for the morgue and to use in my artwork. I pass on the Smithsonian to my family to read instead of cutting it up. Fast Company has been there since Friday. It usually offers up something useful for the morgue and it is a fascinating look at up and coming young people in the business of business. I also love the paper it's printed on. I guess one of those so-called magazines is really a catalog...I'll go through it and get what is useful for the morgue. There is a picture of a woman holding a giant stretched out dollar bill that caused me to save that catalog in the first place.

I went through the mail just as soon as I brought it in the house. I'd like to make that a habit from now on. I'm terrible about letting the mail pile up before I even really take a look at it. I dig out the envelopes that are hand addressed and that is about it. I know those hand addressed ones hold artwork and that must be opened immediately. Must be cause I can't just let art sit on the livingroom desk without taking a peek at it, now can I? Unfortunately, there were no such envelopes this morning! I not only went through the mail, but I actually filed all the things I saved from the mail for the morgue. Perhaps one day I really will be organized! I won't hold my breath though, I know me! I backslide often...

Yesterday offered a walk around the yard. I checked on the fish in the pond. Didn't see them. I'm hoping those three goldfish are still in there! They may have been hiding under the water hyacinth plants or the frogs have had them for lunch. At any rate, they dispersed with all the mosquito larvae that were there when they were put in the pond and that was the reason for them being there, that, and I happen to like goldfish! The fishes in the horsetank behind the garage, which were put there to eat the mosquitos as well are doing quite fine, growing like weeds in their crystal clear water with more water hyacinths to keep them company. All three of them still safe and sound. The frogs can't get into the horse tank like they can and do in the pond.

Pokeweed was found out in the back forty next door when I went out there to check out the apple tree I didn't even know was there! There are two pear trees out there as well. They are on Susan's property but she said, "help yourself" even though I have two pear trees of my own that are full of pears, rotting on the tree, there are so many of them. While out there I discovered, much to my delight that we have ourselves a very nice stand of pokeweed! And had I known there was pokeweed out there, I would have harvested the shoots way back in the spring before they got too big to eat. I collected quite a number of berries from the pokeweed though and proceeded to make some pokeberry ink. It's a lovely shade of deep fuschia. I'll share my creations made with it when I actually do some drawing with it. It is in the refrigerator right now. The seeds from those berries are planted already, in anticipation of next spring. There are some planted by the propane tank out in the front yard and ten times that many planted along the wooden fence that hides the patio. Not only is pokeweed a tasty morsel in the form of the shoots (I've heard you can eat the leaves too but they must be cooked long and the water changed at least three times to get rid of the toxicity), the berries make lovely ink and the plants themselves are quite handsome. They should be a nice addition to the foilage in the front yard. No one wants to mow around that ugly propane tank anyway. And the pokeweed will help to keep the tank cool in the summer with their shade. Sure don't want that thing getting too hot! Kerpow! Nope! Sure don't want that!!! The propane tank is WAY TOO CLOSE to the house to have it exploding! Not that there's really a big chance of that happening since the trees shade the propane tank anyway.

A trip to the trailer house shed in the backyard did not produce the large red rug I know is out there! There is just too much stuff there to be able to find the rug! And I so wanted to put it in the livingroom with the new sofa and overstuffed chair that are going to clash quite badly, I'm afraid, with the hunter green carpet that is throughout this house! I had hoped to put the red rug on the floor to compliment the red sofa and chair but we may have to put that off till the rug can be located out there. When that will be, I've not a clue!

Dinner is now over and the laundry still needs done sometime before the sun sets for the day. I think two loads will be easy to accomplish before that happens. The dog is asleep on the livingroom floor because I've taken up residence on what he deems to be HIS SOFA. I'll give it back to him later! If I don't close this out soon, I will ramble on forever. So, here are the Halloween Chunky pages I said I would show you, along with an ATC or two. Enjoy!

Have a wonderful Day!

15 September 2008


Here are your pictures for the day. We will go with some old ATCs that have been traded.

Amor Vincit Omni

Baby Elephant-This one is kinda special in that the little elephant used to reside in one of my scrapbooks before the house burned. It survived the fire. The scrapbook it was in did not.

My sister Susan made this ATC. I traded it for her.


Ernest- This is one of ten dogs I drew up as ATCs. It was only nine to begin with. I traded all nine of them and then had a request for the wiener dog again so I did him again to trade.

I Love Mondays, unlike some folks who think of Monday as a the dreaded first day of the work week. The weekend passed with little fanfare. That's a good thing! I'm sitting here with my morning coffee and a cat atop the monitor to keep me company. And now that I have said that, Miss Blue has decided she will not keep me company afterall. She's headed to the painting table and is curling up in a ball underneath it. That's alright though cause we have Travis Tritt crooning to us this morning as well.

I've actually been up for hours now. It's going on 7a.m. I've been up since a little after 3. I need to get those Halloween Chunky pages done sometime this week. That WILL happen though! Yes! It will!! I finished all the fronts for the eight that were needed for the swap and got four backs done already this morning. One page is all put together with its danglies attached. We are on a roll this morning! Coming along nicely!

I really haven't much to talk about this morning. I went to bed about 4:30 yesterday afternoon. Had a headache from hell. Hurt like a big dog. I have to go to Plainville this morning. Later this morning. I don't think the lab techs are at the hospital just yet. I need to have some blood drawn so the oncologist can decide if I need a phlebotomy this month. I do need one though. I know that from the way I've been feeling for the last couple weeks. I shoudn't put it off going to get blood drawn. I'm supposed to do it every month! I didn't last month. The hemocrit numbers are probably up in the 50s somewhere. Pretty high I'm betting.

Susan called me at a little before 5 this morning asking if I wanted to come for some hot tea. I already had a cup of coffee in front of me and I was working on my chunky pages so I declined that offer. It's also quite chilly this morning and I really didn't want to walk across the field to her house next door. I will go see her pretty soon though as I've drank a whole pot of coffee this morning and some hot tea sounds good now.

I have some scanning to do today. Lots of ATCs and a few chunky pages along with another little book of collage that needs to be sent out soon. I'll show you all some pictures tomorrow of the stuff I'll be scanning later today.

Come this evening I'll be headed to town to sit with the girls. I'll take some art supplies with me to get my zentangle ATCs done for Maryellen's swap. I have four of them to make. Now that I know she likes the color orange, I'll make her one with orange on it for hosting the swap. I haven't decided yet what color the other three will be.

We will see what the week holds from here. I'm hoping for a roadtrip invitation but that too remains to be seen beings I declined the invite last week. What WAS I thinking? A roadtrip woud be a fantastic diversion. I gotta get those Halloween pages done though before I can go anywhere!

I also need to go to the bank. I need to order checks and withdraw some funds. Dummy me forgot to order checks and now I've run out.

I am reading a new book. New to me anyway. I took it out of the bookshelf on the west wall in my bedroom. I can't for the life of me remember what the heck the name of it is at this moment. It's by Belva Plain though, I do know that. Black Bayou? maybe? I really can't place the title correctly at this moment in time and why I mentioned it without knowing the title for sure, I can't tell you that either!

Creamed Corn
Corn is crushed off the cob
remaining rather lumpy.
Everyone likes theirs with cream
and butter.
Maybe you don't
.Either way it's damn good stuff.

Corn farmers live in the Midwest
over and about Nebraska.
Remain in your seats.
Nebraska isn't that exciting~!
26 April 06

My apologies to any Nebraskans out there. I've been to Nebraska many times and every time I was there, I had an excellent time!
You all be good to one another today! I'll be back again to yak at you all!

13 September 2008

Saturday is a day to sleep apparently

I'd say good morning, but it's almost tomorrow and morning is long gone! I was heading to sleep hours after the sun came up this morning.

I'm working on my Halloween Chunky pages again tonight. I did that last night as well. There are four fronts completed now and one still dryng. I haven't decided if there will be only four or if I'll end up doing eight of them. Eight would make a nice little book. Four would mean more artwork would need done to make a book for Halloween. The five I have started are all different pages. I really like the witches in the cauldron. It's cutesy...Halloweenie! One is a collage of the headless horseman and some skulls. The other four are all acrylic paintings out of my imagination with help of some visuals to get things right. The witches are a stolen idea from a halloween greeting card. Mine doesn't look like the card though. Not really. There's an owl in front of a full moon and a bat flying in front of a full moon as well. Full moons seemed to be in my brain last night for some reason. The fifth one is kinda of like that painting The Scream, can't remember who did that painting... but it really doesn't look anything like that painting either. I painted all five of them with my fingers and very little brush work except for the witches and the cauldron. I'll show you all the Halloween Chunky pages when they are all done and I'm ready to send them off to wherever it they are going... Texas? Not sure. I'd have to look at my notes to know exactly where they are going.

While I have the acrylics out and the painting table set up for painting, I'll be working on those three cat portraits as well. Come Monday that is. I need to go to the library and retrieve the emails I sent to myself with the photographs of those three cats. My printer is being a pain in the ass about talking to the PC so I have to print them out at the library and pay 15 cents a piece for doing so. I guess it's worth 45 cents to have those three cats in the morgue with the rest of the cats there.

The polycythemia is kicking my butt this week. Only took me awhile to figure out why I'm sleeping like a dead man. Sleeping more hours than is normal for me, which is a lot to begin with! My hemocrit numbers are out of control and I'm in need of a blood letting a.k.a. phlebotomy.

I discovered Zuma on GameFish the day before yesterday and have played it for hours and hours. Good game. If you've not played it before go check it out.

I told you all about the bottle in the mail couple of posts back. I sent my sister, Jeanny a message in a bottle through the post office. She called me up and said, "Don't send me any more bottles in the mail!" Apparently she was perplexed about finding a bottle sitting atop her mailbox when she arrived home from work the day it arrived. She couldn't figure out how the hell to get into it for one thing. LOL I said to her on the telephone when she had called to complain, "All you got to do is cut the top of it off." She said she tried cutting the bottom of the bottle off. What a mess of a girl that one is! I'm expecting skeletons in the mail from her in the next week or so to use on my chunky pages. There is no way she will send them in anything but an envelope or a box. I'm not sure if these skeletons are flat or 3D. I'll know that when they end up in my mailbox.

Your picture for the day is a painting I did in alcohol inks back in 2000 or so. I no longer have the actual painting. No one else does either. It burned to ashes in the house fire.
And here is your poem for the day:

A Room Of Yellow
I was chosen
from the line at will
when he walked
into my space.
A stranger who appeared
from out of the blue
into a room of yellow.

His eyes shone.
His smile was bright.
He exuded gladness and
those good things
that can come so
readily in life.

Living became a sunny day,
storms on the horizon.
Those eyes held so much promise,
his hands were always gentle.
From touches came companionship
leading to depths yet explored.
A journey eternally long,
ended one cold winter hour.
Icy, were the looks traded.
Nothing good to come about.

Oh, the smiles were there,
directed at others.
Refused between two.

I see those gentle hands
from across the expanse
that keeps his touch from me.
I watch his face in moments spent
in limbo between then and now.
Dread appears and
blocks out all the sun that used to shine.

Those eyes once sparkling,
now encompass the dimming of the day.
What shall tomorrow hold?
His hands are limp,
resting unsteady,
trying to remain strong.
His laughter is dulled,
coming not from within.

I see myself in him.
Two soul's mirrored tears.
My fingertips need to trace skin,
travel the maps once more.
Find that yellow room,
lock up tight the doors.

Easiness once easily accepted
is not easy at all today.
Friendship's vows
eroded by falseness grown in the dark.

His lips lost the voice
where those eyes
saw the value of me.
Silenced were touches,
words never spoken,
dreams left to die.

We're moving onward
to find again
a yellow room
where love comes
from out of the blue. . .
Have A Beautiful Sunday!

10 September 2008

It Must Be Wednesday!

'Following Mama'

I wish I were a little girl again some days. To have Mama to lead the way...
Mama is just down the road but I've grown from that little girl I wish to be into a woman I don't always understand....
I haven't slept much in the last 24 hours so please bear with me if none of this post makes sense! Sometimes even I don't know what the hell I am talking about and sleep deprivation only enhances the nonsense.

Art is not high on my priority list today so we will go with poetry instead. I wrote some raw poetry just a few moments ago but I will not share that with you as it needs to be honed to make any sense to the reader. Even I reading it, and I wrote it!, I am uncertain just what it is saying! So poetry shared today will be old stuff that has been honed to a fine edge and even possibly awarded. I haven't decided just yet which poem you'll be reading today.

My art muse has been taken over with the poetry muse apparently. I have Halloween Chunky pages that must be done before long. I worked on them some last night when I couldn't sleep. I got backgrounds done on 10 pages and gave up for the night as the muse was very elusive! I wish she would come back with bells on and ready to rock and roll on the art that I owe to others at this point. There are three cat portraits that must be done sometime this week and I keep forgetting to send myself an email with the pictures attached so I can go to the library to print them out. My printer refuses to talk to my computer for some unknown reason. The word processor has the same affliction. The scanner though is working like a champ and that is a good thing! I will have to force that muse out of her vacation and make her do what she is supposed to do where art is concerned!

I had an offer for a roadtrip yesterday. That call came in about 7:30 last night. How I wish I could have taken the man up on his offer but that was not be. I have a bald tire on the van, no funds for a roadtrip and yesterday my old body was in rebel mode big time! Today it is not much better because I've had only two hours of sleep since that call woke me up. I did go check on a tire for the van but the funds are not there at the moment to do anything about that bald tire. So looks like I'll be sticking close to home where someone can rescue me if it blows! And it WILL blow when I least expect it!

Someone needs to clean that van out before another roadtrip can take place anyway. There is still the same old crap in that van that was there when I took the last roadtrip! The man gave me much grief about the condition of the van but it's not his van and he really shouldn't tell me how to deal with my own vehicle when he cares less about maintaining it himself. He thinks I know how to do routine maintenance and the more I tell him I do not know how to do routine maintenance the more he gives me grief. It is a vicious cycle! Cleaning the van is routine maintenance and I do know how to clean the van. I just choose not to. It should not matter to him how clean the inside of that van is, but it does matter to him. Cause his own vehicle looks like it did when it came off the showroom floor. His neatness drives me crazy sometimes! And my trollness drives him crazy! Opposites do attract apparently! I will get the gumption up to clean that van before I go on another roadtrip. I might have to do it immediately before that roadtrip cause I never know when the trips will occur. Out of the blue the invites come! But it will be cleaned out, maybe not vaccuumed, but it will be cleaned of all the crap I'm carrying around in there now. I'll even wash all the windows in the inside to get rid of the dog nose prints that adorn all the back windows! That will please the man! I think.

I'm off to find you a poem to read. I would do that the easy way, but the software for the word processor will not even open old files. Says I need to reinstall Works. I've no clue how to that! I forgot to ask DIL this afternoon when she was here how that can be done. She's the computer wiz, not me! I am the computer dummy! Computer Dummy Extraordinaire!

Here is your poem for the day. It was written in early 2007 and awarded The Tapestry of Beauty Award over at New Horizons on Yuku.

Obscured Charity

On treks far from the comfort
of home base, we whiled away hours
in years gone astray.
We whiled away bliss in darkened rooms,
banished the sunshine
and left only gloom to light our hearts.

Friendship that flourished in brilliance
was drowned in a black liquid soup.
We tried to entrust that precious feeling of hope
to hearts that couldn't hold such truths.

In chains we were bound,
neither of us with the key
to unlock the shackles
we'd placed on the other
over those many years spent
chasing rainbows in nightmares.

Disillusioned we grew
when the thrills faded away.
Sadness covering eyes once
sparkling with adventures yet to be.
We grew weary of chained hearts
that couldn't bleed red.
Blues became the colors of our worlds.

Eyes looking outward at a distant place,
neither of us seeing the same view.
I needed smiles in the brightness of day.
You needed flesh to show you the way.

My sun was obscured by your charity.
Your charity was consumed by my sun.
We smoldered for years in a grey cloud of lust,
never finding the painlessness of love's embrace.

I wanted to run far, far away from the confines
of what I thought was graciousness.
And when I walked away for many days
you always called me back to arms that held me for awhile.
You called me back to sustain our worship.

We dedicated and we justified,
seldom accepting the giving as gifts.
Each little gesture was a nail in a coffin.
Each kiss, resin to seal the seams.
Each day an eternity till we gave again.
Each night a year filled with sentimental tears.

I fear love is a synonym for pain.
For it left behind despair when love was not savored
in the hurried moments stolen from our lives.

My sun obscured your charity.
Your charity consumed my sun.
Kindnesses rendered in the waning hours
were but a feeble attempt to
regain that which was never ours to own.

Be Yourself and Be Proud of Who You Are!

Guess we are doing this post backwards cause the beginning you haven't even gotten to yet! lol Ma always says I gotta be different than everyone else. She swears I should have been a boy when I was born too, but that's neither here nor there. I am not a boy! Though I do understand men better than a lot of women I know. There really is no secret to it. They are just humans like the rest of us and need to be treated as such. It is truth that you get more bees with honey than with vinegar. Men need to be stung every now and then just to remind them that you aren't sweet all the time. Then to make up for it, give them all the honey they desire. It's a win-win situation in that scenario.

Here's that artwork I will be talking about later in this post!
We are going with portraits today. I like to do portraits though I need a bit of improvement on doing them. All five of the ATCs in this post have either been given away or traded for other art of some sort or another. I don't keep track of which card is traded for what card.

This is Annabel drawn from a photograph, done in pen and ink and brush and ink. Annabel loved it! I made it for her just because!

I really have no idea who this woman is! I found her in a magazine and drew her from that picture and then painted her in acrylic. I call this one Anita.

This is Audrey Hepburn. Drawn from a photograph on charcoal paper with pencil.

Doesn't resemble Barry Manilow all that much in my opinion, but that is who it is. Done in pencil on drawing paper from a photograph.

Again, I've no idea who this woman really is. I found her in a magazine called Interview. I drew her from the photograph and painted her in acrylics on watercolor paper. I call this one Elizabeth.

I've been working on my Halloween Chunky pages. Not getting anywhere quickly on that endeavor! I really need to get that muse working on these as they are due by the end of September. Good thing they aren't leaving the United States to be traded out. But it is already the 10th and I need to get going on them!

I haven't been in here for awhile and decided I needed to say something to the readers I might have! I've no clue if there are any readers or not cause no one ever leaves me any comments! Shame on you all that are reading and not giving me any feedback. If it's all terrible, tell me! If it's all good, tell me! If it's a little of both, tell me! How can I make this better if I'm the only one giving any feedback to myself? I think it's all good! lol Well, no I don't really think that. Cause it isn't all good! If you're reading, take the plunge and give me a bit of feedback. If you think it's all terrible though, have the decency to be gentle, please!

Somewhere in this post you'll find pictures of some recent artwork. I've no clue how to put the pictures where they should be in a post. It's all guesswork for me, so bear with me or tell me how to do it correctly! Please!

I have an audience tonight as I sit here in front of this computer typing this post up. Miss Blue is atop the monitor, Fred is asleep on the floor behind my chair sawing logs as only a dog can do and Doobie is sitting on top of the paper cutter on the other side of this room. Billy is asleep on the sofa in the livingroom. The dog was in there on the sofa awhile ago but has decided I need to hear his snoring afterall. All is good as long as he doesn't start whistling while he's asleep. What? You didn't know dogs can whistle? Well, Fred can and does on occasion.
Fred is a very bad dog some days. Yesterday I gave the rats, Stella and Annie a couple of small pork chop bones to gnaw on, helps to keep their teeth in good order. That stupid dog knocked their cage off the table in the livingroom and sent the rats flying! He wanted those two tiny bones for himself! Annie got out of the cage when it fell to the floor and Stella looked a little stressed for her carnival ride! I got Annie back in the cage without much fanfare and told Fred under no circumstances was he to do that again! We'll see if he actually heard me or not! Dogs and men are alike in that instance sometimes. They don't always pay attention to just what you've told them!

I've been told that dating is like fishing. A man told me that and I told him to explain himself cause I saw no corellation between dating and fishing. He said with fishing you toss the bait out and wait for a bite. With dating you do the same thing...toss the bait out and wait for a woman to bite. He told me I shouldn't have called him after he threw out the bait and I flatly refused it. Well, I felt bad about flatly refusing it even though I had good reason to refuse. That is why I did call him back. I feel like I've been run over by a Mack Truck today. He didn't take that as a good reason to say no to driving 120 miles to spend time with him. He says, "You know you always feel better when you make a roadtrip." That may be but today I wasn't taking that chance cause I don't feel well enough to actually drive that many miles to spend some time with him. He's worth it, there is no doubt about that but I have to do what I feel is right for me. I think I kinda threw him for a loop cause I seldom say no to a roadtrip regardless when he calls or how far I have to drive! He really does have the capability to make me feel better physically when my old body goes into rebel mode. Wasn't happening today though. Sorry bud! And now I'm gonna have to offer up that pot of honey to get back in his good graces. BUT.... it is a win-win situation and I'll gladly eat some crow for the boy! (Yes, all men are really just boys who've got man parts!)

We are listening to Drivin' 'N Cryin' as these words are being formulated. The song is Honeysuckle Blue. My friend who plays bass in a garage band let me sing that song with him one night. I can't hold a tune in a bucket made of anything! I had a great time singing with him that night and many other nights as well on many different tunes. The band has recently had a makeover and new members have been added. New members who at one time were members of a different band the bass player has been in. I made them a logo not too long ago. I have no idea if they all agreed upon it or not. Bassman says he hasn't shown it to the other two yet. He likes it fine he says. They better get to practicing again if they're to play at the BI2 in Pburg anytime soon. I do hope they play the BI2 cause I am in need of a music fix extraordinaire! And they CAN provide! Even without much practice, they CAN provide!

Until the next post... take good care of yourself, smile at a stranger, hug your loved ones and go a little wild every day. All those things keep you in proper human mode and you'll find that life is good even when you feel it isn't! Make a little art while you're at it just to add to the spice of life!